Over the last month or so, I have really begun to notice that my blog posts have been having a negative attitude within them as I write. I am feeling more downtrodden, tired and overwhelmed. Now, I know that I am not the only person feeling that way as we watch the world implode in front of us, but I do realize that it has not been good for my mental health as a whole. I feel negative because I am being negative. I am feeling downtrodden because I am thinking negatively. And I am overwhelmed because I am talking negatively.
So, what can I do about it?
Probably not much in the short term, besides making a conscious effort to be better. Better at ignoring the things that are bringing me down. Better at catching myself when I am having these negative thoughts and trying to change my thinking. Voicing that I do not want to discuss something if it is making me feel overwhelmed or angry. Owning that I am not always doing okay and figuring out how to be okay with that instead of beating myself up for feeling that way.
But, most important of all, I am wanting to do a better job of celebrating the small moments and the small wins.
“Celebrate your small wins. Only you know how far you’ve come. “– W. Purity
Today, a client that I worked with three years ago, who I was pretty sure was going to die from their addiction, moved into a place of their own. They have done the work to get sober, reached out for help when they were ready and are taking small steps to get themselves back on track and focused on their goals for success. That is a small win for today.
Today, my favourite drink at the local coffee shop that was discontinued is now back. I was able to hit up that shop to get that comfort drink while taking a moment to chit chat with a friend. A friend who I can be honest with about how I am doing without worrying about what to say or how she is going to take me. She is a comfort that a lot of people are not as fortunate to have. That is a small win for today.
Today I woke up and looked in the mirror. I felt cute. My hair was down and my dimple was showing and I felt comfortable in my skin at that first glance. I did not critique how I looked, or focused on the insecurities, but instead thought to myself, “you look cute!” and went on to work. That is a small win for today.
Today I spoke to a colleague about her relationship and some of the challenge that they have been having. I felt knowledgeable and could give some concrete feedback in a way that I may not have been able to in the past. I could relate, and show her what did and did not work for hubby and I so she would have some tools to use in working out her own needs and desires. That is a small win for today too.
Today I found myself feeling proud in my job and how I am running things. I have been insecure lately about how I was doing but today I got positive feedback that I actually allowed myself to believe was true and took as fact. It felt good to be appreciated. And it felt good to have pride in myself for a change. That was not just a small win today, but a big one.
And most importantly of all, I wrote this blog today. I have been having a hard time getting back into writing again as my energy is low when I get home. But I wrote anyway. I wrote because it brings me a sense of accomplishment. I wrote because my small group of readers are waiting for that post. And I wrote because I made a promise to myself that I do not want to break. I wrote, even though I didn’t want to, and that is the win of all.
Today was a long day. I am exhausted coming home after work. And I have been having some pretty intense conversations with people over the last few days. But, today alone, I was able to find at least six small wins that I can savor when I go to bed tonight. Six parts of my day that were positive, helpful and not overwhelming. That is awesome!
Positivity is not a skill set that I thrive in. However, I can only hope that by taking more time, even if just a few minutes, to savor the wins of the day, I can train my brain, and my heart, to be able to see where I want to go and making it easier to get there. I can only wish that you can try to do the same. Please at least try, I promise you, it will be worth it.
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