I am mad at the world this week. The religious part of me might agree that I am frustrated with God and why he seems to do things or chose things that seem completely unfair. The hippy part of me must believe that Fate or Karma cannot work this hard to screw over so many people. The logical part of me must ask why things are so complex when we are so full of such intelligent people and humans that have the power to change the world. And the emotional part of me just feels straight up angry, annoyed and overall sad.

So, why am I mad at the world this week?

Well, firstly, I am mad at how unfair things seem to be right now with COVID, and Cancer and any other health conditions people are facing. Why is it that some people stay healthy and some people don’t? I have seen people catch COVID, be fine and move on, and than we have heard of others who have gotten sick and died. I know people who are health fiends, run marathons and have never smoked a cigarette in their life, get diagnosed with lung cancer. People all around me seem to be getting sick without any reason, rhyme or understanding as to why them and not others. Why is my amazing, compassionate and kind friend experiencing cancer for the third time when she has done nothing to deserve it? Why does this continue to happen?

Secondly, I am frustrated that we continue to have brown water and although frustrating, is a inconvenience for us, but a basic need for others. Hubby and I have the means to figure out, and eventually fix, what is going on with our water, but yet we have whole communities in Canada, mostly first nations, that have had unclean water for years. We have whole countries who do not have access to clean drinking water, and although my home water is brown, I can go anywhere and access clean water as needed. How is that fair? We are a world full of people who are rich enough to fix this problem, and then they just don’t? Canada is one of the richest countries in the world and yet we still have tons of people, people we have marginalized for centuries, not getting the support that they need? It is crap. Why does this continue to happen?

“Sometimes you just need to talk to a four year old and an eighty-four year old to understand life again.”

– Kristen Butler

I am mad and annoyed that I hear about another local woman who is pregnant again after losing all her kids to care. She does not have the means, or ability, to raise a child, and yet she continues to get pregnant while many couples fight to do so. Hubby and I have been trying for ten years, and although fortunate enough to even access fertility treatments, we are still waiting. We have couples who never have that chance, or wait years on an adoption list to finally receive that baby that their hearts and souls have been craving for. Yet, women, having two, three, four kids that they cannot care for seems so unfair and unjust. Where is the faith in this situation or the hope for those couples? Why do some of them struggle for this to happen and yet for others it is so simple. Why does this continue to happen?

This week was a rough week at work, and although there were bouts of me feeling overwhelmed, I was able to come home to a warm house with a Hubby that loved me. Hubby spent the whole weekend cleaning the house and cooking meals because he knew I did not have the energy or space to do so. I have parents and sisters who are there if I need to talk and check in to see how I am doing. And I have a bed that kept me warm all weekend when I slept away the stress. How come I have all that and others don’t? How are there thousands of people in my country alone who do not have that warm bed to go home to? How there are people who feel extensive bouts of loneliness and unwanted by the people around them? The world as a whole has the ability to help combat this loneliness, or find people a safe place to sleep, or even just treat individuals with kindness and yet they don’t? Why not? Why does this continue to happen?

And yet, as much as I complain and bitch about this, there is very little that I am able to do. Today, I feel mad. I am mad at the universe and why it has to be so complicated and hard. I am annoyed that Hubby and I get handed challenge after challenge and yet for others their life is as simple as they come. I am sad that compassionate, kind and intelligent people are not treated with respect, dignity or even kindness when they reach out for love or support. But, as angry as I am, the only thing I can do about it is me. Today, I am going to wallow and feel all my emotions and maybe have an argument with God. But tomorrow, I will get up and try again.

I will know that people are frustrating and the world is unfair, but that doesn’t mean that I let it overtake me. I will have days like today where I feel emotional and frustrated with how things are. And I will continue to get angry when I see people not helping in the ways that they can. But I will also do what I can. I will appreciate Hubby and what he does for me. I will be kind to people who are treated poorly. I will support the people who are sick or unwell as best as I can. And I will reach out, and be kind, to those who are combating the loneliness. My hope is that if I, and the people around me, all address these things one at a time, slowly, ideally, the world may become a better place. Yes, it sounds cliché as hell, but maybe a little corny and cliché is just what this world is needing.